Toll Booth Yami
by Silberman Was Here
Summary: Parody of the Adam Sandler song. Rated R for way too much swearing. Really every other word is a swear. Still a really funny song-fic.


Disclaimer: I Don't Own Yugioh or Toll Booth Willy  
  
Kyoté Moon: Greetings loyal readers. I'm back with a pretty short fic. It's a parody of a  
  
song (I think it's a song but it probably isn't) called Toll Booth Willie. It will be  
  
performed by the Yugioh cast and I will say right here and now that it is rated R for  
  
extreme language so don't flame me or complain because I gave you warnings. Also  
  
pretend that Ryou is a bishop. Don't ask. Now, here's Toll Both Yami. ^_^  
  
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(car approaches)  
  
Toll Booth Yami: Welcome to Worchester. Dollar twenty-five please.  
  
Bakura: Hey, how ya doin' Toll Booth Yami?  
  
TBY: Good! Thanks fer askin', pop  
  
Bakura: Awww, that's great, you know, considering yer a fuckin' idiot!  
  
(pays toll and drives off)  
  
TBY: Go fuck yourself you son of a bitch! I'll come right out of the booth and fuckin'  
  
whack ya, you fuckin' prick!  
  
(car pulls up)  
  
Kaiba: Hey, hey Yami! How's it going?  
  
TBY: Can't complain, pop. How's 'bout you?  
  
Kaiba: Oh, great, great. How much?  
  
TBY: The state charge is a dollar twenty-five, pop.  
  
Kaiba: That's fine. Now should I just give you the money, or should I just shove the  
  
quarters directly up your fat ass!?  
  
(pays toll and drives off)  
  
TBY: Why you fuckin' hard on! I'll fucking Carlton Fisk yer fuckin' head with a  
  
Louise-ville fuckin' slugger! Whadya think of that ass fuck!?  
  
(another car pulls up)  
  
Teà: Hi Yami.  
  
TBY: Oh, nice to see you, Ma'am. Not a bad day, huh?  
  
Teà: Well, I'm a little lost. Could you help me out? I hear you're the best with directions.  
  
TBY: Well I know my way around New England. I can tell ya that much. So where ya  
  
headed?  
  
Teà: Well, I was just wondering exactly which is the best way to drive up your ass. You  
  
know, if you'd tell me, I'd appreciate it, you fuckin' prick.  
  
(drives off)  
  
TBY: You fuckin' bitch! Fuck you! You forgot to pay the fuckin' toll you dirty whore! I'll  
  
fuckin' drop you with a boot to the fuckin' skull you cum guzzling queen!  
  
(car pulls up)  
  
Malik: Hey Yami!  
  
TBY: Hey, how are ya?  
  
Malik: Here's a dollar twenty-five and go fuck yourself.  
  
(pays toll and drives off)  
  
TBY: Die, you fuckin' prick! I hope you choke on a fuckin' bottle cap, ya fuckin' son of  
  
a fuck! Eat shit! Eat my shit!  
  
(car approaches)  
  
Bishop Ryou: (just picture him as a priest) Hello Yami. Good to see you.  
  
TBY: Ahhh, Bishop Ryou. Nice to see ya. That was quite a sermon you had the other  
  
day.  
  
Bishop Ryou: Hey, well I do my best.  
  
TBY: Dollar twenty-five, Bishop.  
  
Bishop Ryou: Dollar twenty-five, Yami. Isn't that the same price your grandpa charges  
  
for a blow job, you piece of dog shit!?  
  
(pays toll and drives off)  
  
TBY: Ohhh! Have another one you fuckin' lush! It's not my fault the bartender cut you  
  
off last night ya fuckin' douche bag!  
  
(car approaches)  
  
Duke Devlin: Hey!  
  
TBY: Well hey!  
  
Duke: Yeah, do you want the money or do you want me to shove the quarters directly up  
  
your fat ass!?  
  
(pays toll and drives off)  
  
TBY: Well, I already heard that one you fuckin' unoriginal bastard! Go suck a cock you  
  
fuckin' piece of repeatin' shit!  
  
Mai: Hi.  
  
TBY: Oh, hi. How are ya?  
  
Mai: Fine, thank you. How much is the toll please?  
  
TBY: For you sweetheart, it's a dollar twenty-five.  
  
Mai: Here ya go.  
  
(Pays toll)  
  
Mai: Thank you.  
  
(Begins to drive off)  
  
TBY: Hey! Hey! Honey! Would you like a receipt with that?  
  
Mai: Oh, I almost forgot. Thank you so much.  
  
(Toll Booth Yami scribbling a receipt for her)  
  
TBY: And here ya are.  
  
Mai: Umm, do you think you could sign it?  
  
TBY: Oh, uh... sign it?  
  
Mai: Yeah, sign Toll Booth Yami was here.  
  
TBY: Ok, sure. Uhh, by the way, what is this for?  
  
(Signing receipt)  
  
Mai: Just so I could have proof for my friends that I met the biggest fuckin' dip shit with  
  
the smallest dick alive. You understand.  
  
(Drives off)  
  
(Crumples up paper)  
  
TBY: Fuck you, you fuckin' upity bitch! I'll fuckin' fuck you and all your  
  
lesbian fish-eating friends in front of your fuckin' mothers! You're gonna die, bitch! I'm  
  
comin' outta the booth! (Opens the door and runs out of the booth)  
  
(car screeches and hits him)  
  
TBY: Ooooh! My fuckin' leg!  
  
Tristan: Hey! You ran over Toll Booth Yami!  
  
Joey: Oh my God! I was always wondering what it would be like to run over a dried up  
  
stinky dick licker.  
  
TBY: Why you fuckin' pricks! I fuckin' hear every fuckin' word yer saying! When this  
  
fuckin' leg heals I'm gonna kick you guys new fuckin' assholes!  
  
(everyone cussing each other out)  
  
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()() ()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()  
  
Kyoté Moon: Well I hope you enjoyed this rendition of Toll Booth Willie. Join me next  
  
time when I do a parody of-  
  
Angry Parents: There he is! Get him!  
  
(mob of angry parents charges in carrying knives and pitchforks)  
  
Kyoté Moon: Blast! They've found me! Come Rupert. We must escape!  
  
Rupert: (doesn't move because he's a teddy bear)  
  
Kyoté Moon: Fine then. I hope you enjoy the grave. As for the rest of you, I'll return with  
  
more humor as soon as I elude this mob and do my homework. (runs away) 


End file.
